We Have a Christmas Tree

It is standing. It was standing last night, too, but it fell down this morning. Right after I finished vacuuming up all the pine needles. There are pine needles all over my car. My car smells like pine. Our living room smells like pine. I smell like pine and bleach and pizza. My pajamas have sap on them from when I picked up the tree this morning. Tomorrow we will decorate the tree. Tomorrow I will also light the menorah. Tuesday was the first day of Hanukkah, and I haven't lit the menorah yet. I dusted it off. I got out the candles. Then I slacked off. I'm a terrible fake Jew.