Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Do I like my job?

Can someone please tell me the real answer to that question? I think I might secretly hate my job, and by "secretly" I mean "subconsciously." Every time someone asks me how my new job is going, I say, "Oh, I love it," but I sound like I'm forcing down liver and trying to tell some young, unwitting child that it tastes good. Then I laugh and say, "I don't sound like I love it, do I? It's just draining." And I am sincere--I really do think I love it, but everything about my affect says otherwise. Today I woke up in a good mood (which was miraculous after my failure to apply any of my healthy coping skills during these several weeks of depression) but my good mood was ruined as soon as I listened to the voicemail asking me to work tonight. It's not like I had anything else to do. I cleaned the bathroom this morning, went to the temple, did laundry, bought groceries, and the only thing I planned to do this evening was clean the kitchen, so I'm not sure why I was so upset about working unless, of course, deep down in my soul, I hate my job. I don't know, I don't know.

4 comments:

Deja said...

Work is work: that's what my mom says. No matter how cool/fascinating/rewarding the job is, it's still a job.

I hope you enjoy this evening, even if it's worky.

Liz said...

I tell people all the time that I love my job, but even not-so-subconsciously these days, I really hate it. Of course, it could be much worse, but most days, I'd rather not go in, even if I don't have plans for something better to do...

Hang in there!

Annie said...

I just had to comment after reading your last few posts (yes I still check up on your blog) that I have great respect for you for perserveering (sp) I have very dear friend who suffers from emotional problems who just lets life pass her by and you seem to live your life regardless...... don't give up... there is a life out there for you.

dj4aces said...

No one likes it when you're looking forward to a day or evening off from work, and suddenly get called in.

Oh, before I forget...

Godt Nyttår!
Happy New Year!